Monday, May 17, 2010

grrr i hate being afriad

Today I was having a pretty good day. Nothing to complain about the sun was shining and the weather was perfect so I would have rather been outside but aside from that things were great.
I was going about my work day when out of the corner of my eye I catch glimpse of a black shirt with thin grey stripes and blue jeans. I froze. The blood drained from face and I felt for a split second sheer terror. i didn't see the face just the outfit, he wore this one a lot. it was enough to evoke the pain. Finally the face appeared and I could breath again.
When am I gonna stop thinking my abuser is around every corner? He is locked up. I will be notified if he ever escapes or gets released so why am I still so afraid that he is gonna show up?
I hate this feeling with ever cell in my body. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I keep hoping that after he is sentenced I will feel some sense of relief. What if I don't??

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