Tuesday, March 2, 2010


My abuser always used to say," I don't know what is about you. I've never put my hands on another female." It used to kill me inside. What was it about me that would make him want to hit me? Maybe I do deserve this. While I am deeply sadden by the news I found out not too long ago I am also relieved. What he said was entirely UNTRUE! He did put his hands on another female. He beat his former girlfriend. She was smarter than me though When she left, she left for good never giving him a second chance.
He took me to the grave site of his stillborn baby once before we even started dating. Finding this out make me wonder is it his fault that baby is dead? The thought sickens me to the core.
When he would beat on me his eyes would turn dark and his face would twist up. When he beat on me he wasn't the guy I loved, he was like something out of a horror film. And when it was over his face would go soft and his eyes would well with tears and no matter how bruised or bloody I was somehow I always found myself trying to comfort him. Now I wonder was it all an act? Is he even human or is he a demon?

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