Insecurities

I am by nature a over thinker. I am thinking that going through the abuse it has heightened my senses. I am jumpy and nervous. I have so many nervous habits it disgusting. I jump at the slightest creak in the floor boards. I am afraid that everything i do and say will be wrong. It's so funny the ups and downs. One minute I am confident. I feel lucky and strong and so proud the next minute I am paranoid and afraid. While I was with my abuser eggshells were my floor. I didn't call or talk enough or i called or talked way to much... where was the middle ground? I am still struggling to find a middle ground.