Saturday, February 20, 2010
Why Can't they understand??
When his family lashes out at me it hurts for this one reason: You see I did love him. I had a child with him and even though he used his fist there were periods of good times when we had hopes and dreams and plans. When I had to make the choice to call the police I also made the choice to do away with any hope for having a complete family. With his final beating I realized for the first time that all my hopes and dreams for our family would never come to light. I had to start thinking with my head and stop thinking with my heart. My heart believed that someday with enough love and encouragement the beatings would stop and we could start to heal and we could be a family. My head knew differently. That I could never give him enough. Every time I completed one thing that he said would make him less stressed and all better there was another thing that made hm angry. I couldn't win. Why can't they see its not just their family that is hurting and angry?